Well, I finally did it. I defriended someone on Facebook who I thought I’d never defriend because I told him I wouldn’t, thinking he’d care. Since he doesn’t care about me, though, the whole promisy thing is moot. I’m done. I have blogged about the guy before on here, and now I’m kind of embarrassed about how much energy I put into that obsession.
We were friends for awhile (at least the mutual friendship lasted for about a year), but it didn’t go further like I “sensed” it would. We used to talk on the phone and text, and I loved it. I don’t usually give my number out, and I rarely feel like calling someone up just to chat, except when I’m calling my mom. I was comfortable with him. I thought it was a blooming romance. It was the one time my intuition confused me.
I prayed at night that he would realize how much he means to me. I cried, I journaled, I cried again. I was on Facebook all of the time, hoping to build up some communication with him, at least on the internet, but it was wasted effort. Eventually, after my heart was raw and my wall had been rebuilt, I prayed to forget about him, but I just couldn’t get him out of my mind. I don’t think I was ready to forget him, I still had hope.
Then recently I started to pray that I could forget him altogether, because I realized that he is not the person of my dreams (never was), that people who really love me wouldn’t make me feel rejected and cast aside like he has made me feel on several occasions. I know that probably wasn’t his intention, but I know that if he truly loved someone, he wouldn’t make them feel invisible. Or maybe he would, and in that case I REALLY don’t want him in my life.
Anyway, that’s it. I don’t feel bad about defriending him, because I know that he won’t notice his population count is low until several months from now. My peace of mind is healthier, though, that’s for sure.