I am so messed up right now. My coworker took a vacation day yesterday and had asked me if I could work her shift, which began at 12 and lasted until 9pm. Because she’ll bend over backwards to help me when I take vacation or sick days, I wanted to help her out this time. Dear God, that shift was long and dull! I’ve worked a 12 to 9 shift before when I was in the other department, but I didn’t have to stay put at my desk the whole time. Last night, I did, and the phone rarely rang. Now, because I worked late, my mind has decided that today is Friday. That’s not good for anyone.
Then this morning I was in a mood. I still get students and grads who will talk about how the department I used to work in had “screwed” them, and I take it very personally. Even if they’re not talking about me specifically, it still hurts. Then, knowing that I’d better pick myself up and let it go, I need to dig into my memory bank and think of clear examples of when I was helpful, and those memories seem dim and flimsy. It’s that pesky, fragile self-esteem coming back to haunt me. I guess I could see it as a good thing that I care about that kind of thing, but I don’t need to be thinking about that when I’m tired. I was so close to tears this morning while I was making my bed, but I didn’t want to mess up my makeup before work. Priorities! Instead, I changed the sappy song that was playing on my iTunes and played “The Humpty Dance” instead. That helped a bit.
How are you feeling today? Need to vent?