“Form a more perfect union.”

– The students in the next room are watching something on TV about the U.S. Constitution, and I had a flashback to elementary school history class. We had to memorize the Preamble to the Constitution and recite it in front of the class. Points were taken off if we forgot the bigger words, but if we forgot “and” “a” or “the”, I don’t think she dinged us too much, if at all. Maybe one point.

– My brother and his family treated both me and our mom to dinner on Sunday night! We went to Applebee’s. Three of them ordered steaks. I tried to be good and ordered a salad for my meal. Didn’t have any beer, either, I had ice water with lemon. I could kick myself for not ordering a steak, the ones my family ordered smelled and looked fantastic. But we did all order dessert, we had dessert shooters! Desserts served in shot glasses! Most of us had the hot fudge sundae, my sister-in-law had the cheesecake. Tasty stuff!

– My mom almost got into a rumble. Not really, but I love the idea of getting into a rumble at a restaurant. Anyway her steak was too tough, and she had problems cutting it. From experience, I didn’t want to reach over and help her because she’d rather do it herself and if she does need my help she will ask. Well someone from the restaurant, maybe a manager, was making the rounds, checking on the customers. She asked how we were doing, and my brother and his wife told her my mom was having problems cutting her steak and could she help her. It would’ve been fine if the woman had just politely cut her steak or, even better, taken it back and replaced it with a better steak. She did help my mom cut the grisely meat, but she was overly sweet, almost condescending, like my mom was senile or something. She also had a habit of putting her hand on my mom’s shoulder, calling her “honey” and acting like they were best friends. She finally left, and my mom turned to me and whispered, “Is she gone?” I told her she was, and she said, “She was just about to get a fork in the forehead if she touched my shoulder again.” Hehe. Excitement in the Applebee’s neighborhood!

– I bought an Asian noodle meal to make at home. It came with the noodles, some sauce and seasoning. I’ve had great experiences with those kits before, so I figured this time wouldn’t be any different. Eek. The noodles tasted terrible and the smell lingered in the air for about an hour afterwards. I threw the stuff away and decided to finish the food I brought back with me from Applebee’s. Much better.

– Here’s a clip of the comedian Tom Shillue, when he talks about a commercial for Philadelphia that made the Constitution sound sexy:

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15 thoughts on ““Form a more perfect union.”

  1. I remember having to learn that too…I want to say it was 8th grade for me, but I’m not positive.

    Love the Applebees story! I like their food a lot and those dessert shots are delish, but it seems like there is always some odd service issue when we go there. Your mom shoulda totally forked her. haha!

    I love those food kits too…dang. It’s awful to be looking forward to something and have it be gross. Thank goodness for leftovers :-)

  2. While reading about your trip to the restaurant I was just thinking “blimey, if I was Tara’s mum that woman would be getting a fork in the thigh or something” then lo and behold – FORK TO THE FOREHEAD! Even better!

    You mum sounds like a fun lady!

  3. That was awesome.. Thanks for sharing that with us Tara.. The fork in the forehead would’ve been a sight to behold.. Your Mom sounds very cool and funny..Tom Shillue is a funny guy..

  4. I can’t remember the entire Preamble off the top of my head right now. Luckily, we have the Internet now and can easily look it up.

    Applebee’s has improved in quality in recent years. I found this out after four years of traveling.

    Your mother doesn’t seem to be the type that likes to be talked down to. I would have loved to have seen that incident.

    Some of the new packaged meals are a bit scary to me. I prefer to experiment on my own in the kitchen.

  5. I don’t like rude people like that. I rarely send anything back to the kitchen, but if it’s too tough, then I guess it’s going back to the kitchen for a replacement.

    That dude is funny about the Constitution. Here’s another one from the Preamble: Philadelphia, insure domestic tranquility…

  6. Silver: It’s embarrassing when they’re so condescending! We shouldn’t feel embarrassed, though, it should be them, they need to step back.

    Churlita: You’re absolutely right, they should’ve replaced that steak with one that is worth the money. And, although my mom and I laugh at the situation now, that woman was totally out of line.

    Laura B: I’m thinking we learned it in the 6th grade, I can vaguely remember the classroom and I know our teacher looked a bit like Sigourney Weaver.

    The Thai soup kits are awesome, but this one…well I saw “ginger” and “Asian” and thought it would taste great. Eh, live and learn. But not scarred.

    Tim: Thank you, my mom is a fun lady, she’s got a great sense of humor! So now I know that, if she had stabbed that lady in the forehead, you’d help me post bail for her. Good to know! :)

    Babybull: I’m glad you liked it, I love that comedian. That clip still makes me laugh. Thank you, my mom is cool and funny!

    AlienCG: You’re right, she is not the type that likes to be talked down to! She was very patient, though, and let the woman do her thing before she shared her thoughts with me. :)

    Eros: My mom was afraid to send it back, because she feared there would be a disgruntled cook who would spit on the new order. But that shouldn’t be our problem, it’s the restaurant that has to deal with embittered staff.

    That’s a great quote from the Constitution! *In a sexy voice* “Philadelphia: insure domestic tranquility…”

  7. Malcolm: Hi! If that lady only knew how close she was to getting a pierced forehead, she would think twice about how she treats customers.

    Tom Shillue: Hey, thank you for visiting my blog and commenting! Awesome surprise! Come back often, please!

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