Bah-ring it!

Tonight we went over to the local senior center/rec center to practice more for our concert. Even more people showed up this time, some of them didn’t get the email about a Monday concert rehearsal. It was fun to catch up with chicks I sat next to during our regular rehearsals.

Anyway, we practiced this time with the band. I stood right in back of the drums. Did that bother me? Nope! But the Cackler was situated right next to me and THAT bothered my ears. Our director said “Don’t worry about counting” which would make our regular director’s hair bristle. Many people liked hearing it, though, including the Cackler. In response, she let out a loud, sharp, “Wooooooooo!” It was an assault to my hearing, it was very sharp.

We sang with the band and it was kinda fun. Then we were done. A few of us wandered around the rec center for awhile. I remembered how expensive it was for me, as a resident, to go there for a year and a lady we were talking to mentioned that the nearby town’s rec center membership is much cheaper, even, we imagined, for non residents. So I’m going to check into that little tidbit.

So far I’ve had a moody week. I need to stop looking at my work email at home, especially during the weekend. Things get me riled up and I wind up losing sleep right before the start of a new week. Ugh. Plus, I was in such a mood on Sunday night that I decided I was going to tell that guy I have blogged about too much how I feel about him. I didn’t propose to him or say that I loved him (which I don’t, I just want to know him better), but I spilled out my mental guts. I wasn’t nasty, insulting or any of that. I meant every ding dang word. I figured…if he doesn’t respond, I’ll know for sure and forever that he wants nothing to do with me. If he does respond (I was expecting a court order and some white coats…it would’ve been a nice vacation), then I’d handle it however it was handled. He didn’t respond. There are so many ways to interpret it, but I think it was God’s way of telling me I need to move the hell on, that there are more fish in the sea, ones who are more worth it. As strong and independent as that sentence may seem, I felt a bit vulnerable and stupid today. But I’m slowly regaining my dignity.

Oh yeah, so addressing the title of my post. We were gathered together in a small room in order to practice for Friday’s concert. Our leader wanted us to line up in an order that made sense. Apparently I lingered too long, and the Cackler kidded with me and actually pushed me in the right direction. Oh noooo she dih-int! She playfully pushed me and I playfully knocked her lights out. Tee hee. We choir members are tough, do not mess with us ya hear?


10 thoughts on “Bah-ring it!

  1. Oh, it’s already been brou-en! haha! Pushy beeyotches will learn not to mess with the Taranator! That Cackler. Guh.

    Good post…lots going on. First, I am soooo glad I don’t have access to my work email at home. It is onsite Outlook, so when I am not there, I am free. I suggest you pretend not to have access to yours!

    I feel proud of you for putting it all out there for this guy you’ve had on your mind. I mean, not all….but you know, letting him know how you are feeling. It is the right thing to do. Please don’t feel stupid. If he doesn’t respond, well, it makes it that much easier to move on to someone more open to getting to know you…someone more deserving of your consideration.

    Now, you must come Choose and Defend, or I swear, I will give you such a shove! :-D

  2. That’s awesome you got to jam with the band! And it’s even better you gave that Cackler what she had comin! I’d advise you to stick gum on her seat before she sits down, but that would be childish.

    Yeah, I try to separate work and personal life. Less stress for me that way. If the work email came after clocking out time, then it’ll be there waiting when you clock back in! Work emails should be read at work, when you get paid for reading them. But I can understand how hard it must be for you, especially since you are such a conscientious worker. Take time for yourself and keep your personal and professional lives separate. You’ll be much happier :)

    The thing that really sucks about emails is they don’t communicate effectively what you’re trying to say. Sometimes, things get misread or easily misinterpreted. Don’t worry about the dude you emailed. Maybe he hasn’t checked his yet; or maybe he hasn’t quite found the right words. Whatever happens, happens. The most important thing is that you said what was on your mind, or it would’ve been eating you alive. Breath in, hold it, let it out. Now, you move on and deal with life as it happens. If it’s meant to be, it will be. Things really do happen for a reason!

  3. When I was working, I had a laptop that I used to use partially as my personal computer. I had my e-mail on that computer so I ended up checking it all the time. You’re right, it was depressing.

  4. Seriously. Stop yourself from checking work email. Separate!!!

    And you know, I have sent so many of those type of emails, and before that, letters. I understand your situation. It’s so damn frustrating. But yes, time to move on. ALAS!

  5. Ah Tara, I know it was a big deal for you to write to the guy. It’s his loss if he doesn’t respond. I’ve learned the hard way – so don’t you second guess yourself.

    Also, put down the work email. Slowly…slowly…back away from it :)

  6. Sorry to hear about the non-response from this guy. But I’m glad you put yourself out there though and sent that email. Hard thing to do, and nothing wrong with it. I think you will feel better about what you did in the coming days, it’s always unnerving putting yourself out there without knowing what the response will be.

    Are we going to get Tara v The Cackler on UFC pay per view one of these days? I would like that :)

  7. Laura B.: Lol…I love that movie, maybe I should post the trailer for “Not Another Teen Movie” next Friday!

    I definitely need to pretend that my work email doesn’t function at home.

    At first I felt stupid about expressing myself, but I shouldn’t have. It has been bottled up for too long, but I also restrained myself from going too far.

    Eros: Aw, thank you – usually my reason for checking email at home is so I am not taken by surprise on Monday. But it’s not a very effective way of celebrating the weekend.

    The guy is kind of lazy about reading long emails, so who knows if he read the whole thing or just skimmed it. I tried to make it easy to read. It would be nice to know if he actually read it and is actually putting thought into his response.

    AlienCG: Yeah, it’s not the way to relax on the weekend. Although it was helpful sometimes if I wanted to check on correspondence or a reply from someone, but it doesn’t do me any good when I see a problem waiting for me on Monday or any other day.

    NoRegrets: Yes ma’am! :) Whenever I think of checking work email, I’ll slap my wrist with a rubber band.

    The waiting for a response thing is very frustrating. In the message, I did tell him that I’d rather be friends than nothing at all. Cuz right now, we’re nothing.

    Gorilla Bananas: Hi, thank you so much for the comment! Yes, I agree the ball is in his court. I just hope he has some.

    Suze: Thank you, Suze. That second and third guessing myself is tricky and it sneaks up on me during the day sometimes. But I know that I did my best, I communicated with him, the message was sent and he just needs to realize how much effort that took for me.

    And thank you, I will put down the work email and slowly back away from the computer. I will not make eye contact with it, either.

    Seb: Thank you, I’m starting to feel much better about putting myself out there. Neither of us can say I didn’t try.

    I will try to broadcast a Tara Vs Cackler beat-down tonight. We’re having our concert and there will be microphones set up and we’ll be on stage. It could get down right bloody. Can you handle it? ;)

  8. If he doesn’t respond, then he’s rude and insensitive and not worth your time. I’m proud of you for trying> I know how hard that is. Last night, I finally asked the guy that I like to hang out. It was like pulling teeth, because I had to keep getting him to commit to it, but I think it was more because he was scared than anything. If he doesn’t back-out, I’m supposed to go to his house and drink wine on Wednesday night. Keep trying. If this doesn’t work out, I will too.

  9. Churlita: Thank you – it was a pretty big step for me to tell him all that, and really I could’ve started ranting to him about how distant he’s become. But I reeled it in a bit. I want him to be a friend, I don’t want to drive him away…Unless he drives me away first.

    Good luck with the guy you asked to hang out!

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