I had a frustrating dream the other night – woke up all stressed out. It was a small menagerie of dream sequences, all of which tried my nerves in one way or the other.
The one I can remember, vaguely, is the one where I was at work and this guy I didn’t know, maybe the department director we still don’t have yet, wanted to do something dramatic at our school’s graduation ceremony. Something that involved spray painting our suits dark gray and replacing our shoes with heavy boots. Seriously. Maybe he wanted us to dress up as robots and act out the Mr. Roboto video. I don’t know.
I remember him saying that he’d be waiting for me at the rec center. I felt rushed as I started spray painting my outfit while standing at my computer. As I was about to leave, I remembered that I had to take care of so many other things for graduation before I could head on over. I probably figured I had some time before the next ceremony, seeing as it is, in real life, still a few months off. So that’s when I woke up all stressed and irritated – and having to get dressed and head off to work.
– Onto another topic. I found some class photos of my early years in grade school and decided to post a few of them on Facebook. I tagged some of my Facebook friends, realizing that a good handful of us have known each other since kindergarten. It’s an amazing thought, actually! Once I tagged some friends, many more came out of the woodwork that I didn’t know were even on Facebook! A few of my friends tagged more people on my photo. I was telling my mom this earlier, that it’s strange to see these former classmates as adults. Sometimes I feel that school just happened. It’s not like I’m living the glory days or anything, but I just don’t feel like that much time has gone by. Well of course it has, but when did we all grow up? When did so many of my classmates get married and have babies? Strange. It almost makes me envy them, but then again I think I’ve done pretty darn well for myself too.
– It’s funny, though – I have come across people on Facebook that used to be bullies in school. A few I can come to terms with – one was actually decent most of the time when she was separated from her pack. So we’ve added each other as “friends”.
There are a few others, though, that I hesitate on if I see them on there. To friend or not to friend. That is the question. Sometimes I decide against it. I found one guy in particular last night. He was the one who called me “scar face” in school so many years ago. I can’t bring myself to even ask him how he’s doing. Part of me thinks that he has surely grown out of that childish phase by now. We’re adults now….right? But the not-so-grown-up girl in me with the vivid memory of that rainy, dark day thinks that it would be best to just leave him be and forget he’s on there. I’ve come to terms with the fact that we were all immature at that time. We were kids. But it still doesn’t change much. If he emailed me to ask how I was doing, I can’t say for sure that I’d ignore him. But why should I be the first one to reach out, as if we’ve been school friends the whole time? I won’t.
– On a happier note, I did make contact with a few guys who weren’t bullies, who were quite nice to know back in school. We’ve known each other since grade school – one since 4th grade, the other since 5th. I’m glad we’re in contact again, even though they’re miles and miles away.