I heard something about me today that made me a little sad….okay, more than just a little. Nothing tragic or anything, and I hate that it’s bothering me, but it punched me in the gut. I was talking to a coworker this morning who was telling me how someone told her they perceived her as a totally different personality. We went deeper into the discussion and I remembered how in school, people thought I was stuck-up or a snob because I didn’t talk to many people. So I mentioned that. Then I heard this, “Yes, I’ve heard that about you here.”..Wait, whuh?? I stopped what I was talking about and said, “Really? People say that?” Then she said “Yeah, some people say ‘Tara doesn’t talk to anyone.'” Sure the word “snob” and “doesn’t talk to anyone” are not exactly the same thing, but the damage was done. It was then that I wished there was a rewind and erase button on my mouth. If I had not said that about school, I wouldn’t have heard about people at my current job thinking that I’m a snob. This is what made me sad, and I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t ask her who said that about me, because that really would’ve been juvenile. I know that just caring about it was bad enough. I mean I’m certainly not known as the socialite of the workplace, but I know myself and I’m definitely not a snob. I feel like my social skills have improved since school. I was extremely quiet in grade school, so much so that a few kids called me “The Mute”. But even back in school, at what seemed like the height of insecurity for me, those names didn’t shake me up too much. But now as a so-called adult, I am close to in tears over this new discovery. Crazy, right? There are so many people at work who I’d talk to more if I didn’t have a job to do, but even when I can’t, I try to make it a point to at least greet them and exchange “how are yous”. Why must people jump to the conclusion that quiet people are snobs? It doesn’t take a psychology class to make people consider the many reasons someone could be introverted. More importantly, why should I give a crap what people think? I can go weeks without letting thoughts like that bother me, but today is a totally different story.
So um…that’s all I have to say on the matter. Gotta shake it off.