Only a few people have asked me why I’m not married yet. My brother asks me sometimes and I tell him that I haven’t found anyone worthy of me yet. He usually roles his eyes and moves on to something else to say that might bother me. About three years ago, one of my friends….er…scratch that…one of my acquaintances asked me if I was married. When I said “no”, she threw her head back and laughed, and then said “I knew it! I knew it.” I looked over at one of my other friends who was just as baffled at the rude answer as I was, and then I changed the subject.
Anyway, the following is a list I found on a website I can’t remember the name of now, that gives you more options on how to answer that question (besides the alternative: “None of your freakin business”).
Comebacks To “Why Aren’t You Married Yet?” (Warning, some of these might be harsh for married folk)
1. You haven’t asked yet.
2. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
3. Because I just love hearing this question.
4. Just lucky, I guess.
5. It gives my mother something to live for.
6. My fiancee is awaiting his/her parole.
7. I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
8. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
9. I’m waiting until I get to be your age.
10. It didn’t seem worth a blood test.
11. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
12. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
13. My co-op board doesn’t allow spouses.
14. I’d have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
15. They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
16. I wouldn’t want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
17. I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those voodoo doll rituals.
18. What? And lose all the money I’ve invested in running personal ads?
19. I don’t want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
20. Why aren’t you thin?
21. I’m married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial