SEPTEMBER HOLIDAYS

Okay, everyone, it is almost here. Today is August 31st, the last day of August, and tomorrow is the first day of September. So here is a brand new list of holidays for you to mark on your calendars. Special thanks to Steve D. for his mahvelous ideas, and to this link for their suggestions.

1. September Enthusiasm Day

2. Count Your Blessings Day

3. Mismatched Socks Day

4. Say Happy Birthday to a Stranger Day

5. Anti Labor Day

6. Sing in the Bathtub Day (as opposed to Sing in the Shower Day)

7. Be Creative Day

8. Watch A Movie Day

9. Bring a Pebble to Work Day

10. Keanu Reeves Day

11. Wear Your Country’s Colors Day

12. Clean Out Your Junk Drawer(s) Day

13. Pez Day

14. Leave a Love Note in a Random Spot Day

15. Paperclip Chain Day

16. Fake a Sneeze Day

17. Spin Till You’re Dizzy Day

18. Burned Popcorn Day

19. International Talk Like A Pirate Day

20. Sing in an Elevator Day

21 Stephen King Day

22. Carmel Apple Day

23. Hobbit Day

24. Fortune Cookie Day

25. Six Months Till Tara’s Birthday

26. Happy Singles Day

27. Find a Weird Website Day

28. Take a Picture of Your Feet Day

29. Madeline Kahn Day

30. Waffle Day

ARRRR, tis Pirate Day, Maties!

Some of my favorite quotes/pieces o’dialogue from “Pirates of the Caribbean” include:

“I am disinclined to acquiese to your request. Means no!

“We know your ‘ere, puppet!”
“Puppet!”

“You are, without a doubt, the worst pirate I have ever heard of.”
“Ah, but you ‘ave ‘eard of me!”

“Bloody pirates.”

“They’re more guidelines than rules!”

“Down to the depths with ‘hoevah came up with ‘parlez’!”
“That would be the French.”

“Ya best start believin’ in ghost stories, Ms. Turner. You’re in one!”

Eeeesy Rider

On my way back to work after my lunchbreak, I glanced at something on the hood of my car. There, looking like a tiny hood ornament, stood a grasshopper. He was facing traffic and seemed to be enjoying the ride. He hardly budged as I sped down the main street, his antennae blowing in the breeze. At one point it looked like he was trying to brace himself so that he wouldn’t fall off. He was still on the car when I parked, but when I approached him, he hopped up on the windshield. If I had been cranky today, I would’ve turned the wipers on. But instead I left him to ponder his surroundings.

I didn’t have a camera with me in the car, so I drew a picture when I got to work. I felt it was appropriate to draw my passenger on green Post-It paper, since he was a lovely green. However, it kind of looks like he’s flipping off the traffic. This was not deliberate, I was trying to draw the idea of him putting a hand up to brace himself. Interpret what you want, though, it still makes me giggle.

Dueling Garbage Disposals

This weekend I noticed that my kitchen sink was backing up. This has happened to me before, and the first time it turned out to be more serious. After the more serious problem was solved, my sink was clogged again. By the time a Mr. Fix-It from my apartment showed up, the water had gone down and he looked at me like I was making it up.

So this time, when my sink backed up, I tolerated it. I just turned on my garbage disposal and the water disappeared. Then I heard my neighbor turn on her disposal, and up from the sink came a bubbling gook. Trash, that is, ground down spaghetti noodles and sauce: like the Beverly Hillbilly’s song, only it wasn’t crude oil. So I turned on my garbage disposal, and the gook went down again. Then she turned on hers, and gosh was that fun. Dueling disposals (enter dueling banjo toon: twa twa twang, twang, twang, twang, twang, twang, twang).

Soon after, I heard a knock on my door. It was maintenance, but it was a different guy and he was friendlier. Apparently the water was leaking all over the place on my neighbor’s side, and there was some kind of blockage somewhere on our floor or another floor. Problem fixed. For now.

Horrifying Haircare

This is what’s known as a “jaw clip” for hair. It sounds scary and it looks scary. But it’s not the answer to the latest guess-the-sound game.

These are good for putting on puppet shows, should you feel the need to do such a thing (hmmm!). You pinch the ends together to seperate the jaws and eureka, you have a talking jaw clip. For example, you can make it say “Wazzzuuuup!” It works well. You can do the same thing with a staple remover. FYI.

This was found on the Scunci website.

BUY SOMETHING STUPID AT WAL-MART DAY

Not that I need an excuse to go to Wal-Mart, but I figured I should make a holiday out of my home away from home. I “had” to go to Wal-Mart to buy some “necessary” items. Here they are:

Jawclips (to clip back hair)
Comb (to comb hair)
Mirror (to use for when I’m highlighting my hair)

I was highlighting my hair this weekend, and the box called for those three items that, sadly, I did not have available. Below is a picture of my highlighted self, although it doesn’t show up that well on the camera.